At my church they talk about being free to pursue Christ. They say that since there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1), that frees us up to pursue relationship with Him. That makes some sense to me... if we are in Christ then we are free to pursue Him with all that we have, and even if we make a huge mess of things, even if we fail, we are covered by grace. But the more I think about that, the less sense it makes. If I am truly pursuing Christ with all I have, then I will not fail. He promises that if I draw near to Him, He will draw near to me. So then... why do I have to be free of the fear of condemnation in order to pursue Him?
Over the past week He has laid on my heart a beautiful analogy of this idea. I am watching my daughter grow from a baby into a little girl. She is learning how to communicate her ideas, how to be an adult by mimicking the things we do, how to be independent. Hopefully, by God's grace, she is also growing in obedience and a desire for righteousness. None of these things happen quickly, most of them we (Lord willing) will get 18 or so years to teach her.
For a while now, she has been really trying to learn how to jump. She can't get her feet off the ground, so she basically starts walking quickly, takes a few funny looking steps, and announces with joy "I'M JUMPING!" Our response is tremendously important. We could tell her that no, she did not, in fact, jump. That her performance did not measure up. We could tell her she looks ridiculous. But we would never say such things. Instead, we clap our hands and say "YAY!". We jump around like dorks along side her. Why? Because we want her to keep doing that step thinking she looks like Spud Webb? No. We respond that way because she is making progress. Because we know that in an environment where she is having fun and is free from condemnation, she will keep trying, keep pursuing her goal, keep improving with each try. That is how she will learn to jump.
This is what it means to be free to pursue Christ. I have one day where I have a small victory over my sin. One time where I die to self and let the Spirit live in me. One time where I get up early to spend time with the Lord rather than sleeping in. One time where I respond graciously to my husband instead of being a jerk. I am falling so far short of Christ's standard for me, yet I pray the spiritual equivalent of "Thank you God, I'm JUMPING! You gave me strength and I JUMPED!" The enemy responds with "You didn't jump. You took two ridiculous looking steps around the coffee table." But my Abba responds "YAY!!!" He puts those around me who model jumping more correctly so that through the Spirit's conviction I can learn from them. He is constantly pushing me towards righteousness so that someday I will not call this jumping. But there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. I am free to grow into righteousness despite the fact that perfect righteousness is demanded of me by a just God. I have this freedom because it was purchased for me by Christ on the cross. I am free to pursue Him.
